So I did breathing squats again today. Take your 10RM do that then take 3 deep breaths do a squat, 3 deep breaths squat repeat 10 times, so you have a total of 20 squats in that set. Rest 6 mins lighten the weight by 5% and repeat. I did 4 sets. Starting at 225 and ending at 185. Those last few on 185 were brutal! Give it a shot! It’s fun!!!
The other day at the gym both my trainer and another guy who use to be be a trainer at the gym both said I should think about doing a body building type show. They think it’d give me something to work towards and I work better when I have something like to work for. But I have no clue how to go about getting ready for one of these. I have no clue about body building. I know about weight loss. Sure I’ve put on muscle and can put on muscle I know how I’m a trainer but I don’t know about bodybuilding stuff. I don’t know what all goes into it or how I would need to eat for it or anything. I don’t know poses NO CLUE! Anyone know about any of this stuff??
My knee still hurts from Saturday (being 28 with 2 bad knees sucks). My elbow feels better and up to doin some upper body working out. But I’ve been doubled over coughing every 5 minutes all day today! UGH!!
So now that I’ve told you I jacked up my knee at my wrestling show I can tell this. When Cundiff missed the field goal at the end of the game I completely forget about my knee and I jump off my bed yelling “HE MISSED IT HE MISSED IT!!!” over and over. I go to start running around the house yelling but I figure people I live with wouldn’t like that. So I hit the brakes. BOOM knee goes out I fall into my dresser and trip over my wrestling gear bag. I then start running in little circles yelling “HE MISSED IT!! HE MISSED IT!!” Then I figure I should probably stop yelling so I just beat the shit outta my chest king kong style!
Friday I did back and biceps with my trainer. As usual she absolutely destroyed me. She’s a evil little thing! I did an hour of cardio afterwards. I went home for a bit and then came back about 6 hours later to do round 2 of cardio, for 45 mins. I had to move the treadmills because we got a new one and it made the bike area tight so since I’m the only guy that works there this duty fell to me. I kept putting it off all week because I thought it was gonna suck, but it took maybe 5 minutes tops.
Saturday I went in and did another hour of cardio on my good friend mr. elliptical. Then I had my wrestling show. It was a good show. Fun match. I didn’t give the guy much but I came out hurting pretty bad. I did something to my knee to where I could barely bend it last night. and something to my elbow that caused mat burn and for it to be swollen.
Today I’ve done nothing but ice my knee and watch football. Been a lazy day it’s driving me bonkers I haven’t done anything but I can’t do much with an effed up knee and elbow.
So my brain has been in a weird place lately. I kinda know why it’s there but that’s not really what this post is about about so we just won’t get into that at the moment.
I’ve come to realize that life was soooooooo much easier when I was heavier. I’m not saying I want to go back to being 368 lbs, but it was so much easier then. I ate whatever I wanted to, didn’t have to worry about calories or macro percentages nothing like that. It was hmmmm this sounds good I’m gonna eat it and I’m gonna probably eat a lot of it.
Also I have no idea who the hell I am anymore. When I was bigger I knew my role, I had a good idea of how most people looked at me. I was the quiet big guy who would occasionally say some funny stuff. Now I have no clue how other people see me. I know I shouldn’t care about how others see me but we all care at least a little how others see us. It helps to know when thinking of approaching a member of the opposite sex or at least I think it does. I think I know why I don’t know how people see me though. I think it’s because the versions I see of myself don’t match up one bit. In my head I still see the 368 lbs Jon. When I look in the mirror I obviously see what everyone else sees but maybe a bit bigger than others do I would guess.
I think this mismatched self perceptions are really messing with me. Has anyone else here gone through this? I would really like to kill the fat me in my head but I have no clue how to. I mean I was that guy for 25 years. I haven’t been him for 3 years now but he still won’t go away. I dunno, I just had to get that off my chest. Thanks for listening/reading.
In good news I was able to do back and bi’s for the first time since my back decided to go bonkers and hurt like crazy about 2.5 weeks ago. So I’m pretty pumped about that!
I suck at all this stuff but I would like a little place to put up old pictures ect I know it can be done on here because I’ve seen it but I have NO clue how to go about doing this. If anyone of you would be so kind as to help me I would love you forever and ever :)
I got 2.5 hours of sleep last night thinking about the same thing over and over and over. If I fell asleep right now I’d get 4 hours 3 minutes because I’m thinking about the same friggin thing!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrr